From Sabrina's Profile:
So today i was throwing some garbage away in my trash can outside, behind the trees [...] two little boys rode by on their bikes [..] like maybe 7 or 8. and the one little boy lifts the collar of his shirt up to his face as he's steering with one hand and says to his friend:
"Damn man. I smell like vagina."
Jesus christ. That will plague my nightmares for life.
I'm "in love" again (and I use the term loosely) as per usual, it's my favorite kind of love in that I mean it is "forbidden"...
Unfortunately that's all I can say because the third person might be a reader of this journal (it's linked from my buddy list!) - although I would be more than happy to answer who it is NOT so that way none of you get parinoid that I'm going after your girlfriend.
this girl is single anyway so don't worry boys
The last few secret relationships I had went pretty well in that the person(s) we were hiding from never did find out, so hopefully the streak will continue...
...although because of the details of the situation (which i cannot go into) chances are that it will inevitably HAVE TO come out in the open at some point but not until a fourth party gets involved. If you would like to be that fourth party please contact me in any way EXCEPT by commenting on this post.
thank you for your support
downcaste recording on saturday - i'm missing my secret society meeting - still haven't found joe's drum mic cord (apparently wayne stuck it in one of our bags)
--- speaking of joe that crazy fuck from howitzer is not in the band anymore - if anyone knows how to contact JOE MAGEE tell him mike britt is looking for him - I might sing for a band now - scroll down - i have to audition I hope they like it - either way I don't know any singers who want to do heavy stuff.
clean my room for me
oh and i'm always talking about how i hate music but yesterday I finally heard "the grey album" and I smiled.
The last time I saw Amanda Copes was a month or two ago in Barns And Noble where I was looking through the philosophy books. Behind me was some lost soul talking to his therapist or something, and the whole time I kept listening and thinking of responses to the things he was saying but could not say because it would make him feel WORSE.
I bought a book about ethics and went to the bowling alley to read. While I'm waiting for Ammar I'm in the bar and the bartender asks me if I'm doing homework.
"no, i'm out of school; I have to make my own homework now"
"are you a doctor? you seem like a doctor"
"..."
then last week a new friend tells me I think like a chemist. And I should be a chemist.
Then i was recording a death metal band and thinking "I hate music - no I hate what it has become and my inability to connect with it emotionally. I feel kinda like a doctor when I'm recording. I can't really be a REAL fan of music and listen to it two dimensionally unless if i'm on drugs.
That's it!!!
I am going to school to become a chemist and then I'll design drugs!
well maybe not but it would be cool.
everything I said was a lie
I've been leading you on
because i dont want to hurt your feelings
but my opinion doesn't matter much
so the less this will hurt
your band is fucking lame
but I will not quit.
I will wait until the day
when you realize it too
then who will laugh
definetly not you
this doesn't mean I am any better
I'm definetly not as boring
even if i'm getting laughed at
at least I can hold someone's attention
but you can't.
this is because you are LAME.
Date:
Sunday
Club Extreme show
Met Wayne
Met Liz
Played solo electronic for the first time in front of a screaming audience of 10. I opened with a new song, only like three of you have heard it before... it went kinda well but I didn't sing my best! Well what else is new. The second song sucked cause I never ever practiced it - I did it on a whim... then I closed with another new song "Going to the Wire" - I fucked up alot of the fast rapping parts but only ten people saw it so whatever. Hey it was my first show gimme a break (i'm obviously talking to myself)
Buisness:
Vowed revenge against Joe Karafa for telling me it cost $15 to get in so no one comes but then it turns out that it's $8 but it's too late, "no one comes" and everybody goes home after Broken Values sets up their equiptment
Alcohol:
Go to Fridays with some people, but spent most of the time talking to Wayne about recording techniques. Apparently he's one of those "by the book" guys.
Weed:
Lerro and Maria come over my house and we smoke
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Monday
someone does some websearching and finds how to contact mike britt on the internet... and she does
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Tuesday
record kyle schreffler... he did like three songs in three hours. Didn't turn out too bad! He actually has some good riffs and other ideas. Then he buys me a value meal at Arbys. Stand up guy.
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Wednesday
Matt Lerro accidently runs into mike britt on the road and tells lauran he saw him with some "really cute young girl" and then they make fun of me
After I watch her walk back to her house I turn my head and see a rainbow. Oh get the hell out of here what are you trying to do to me ha ha a so I call Lauran and we tried recording stuff but my dad interupted and it killed the mood so we met up with matt and went to __ get stuff __ but they were going to deleware to hang with nick and drennen so I went home and listened to music.
It was at this time I finally "got" impressions. No, the jazz tune: "IMPRESSIONS"... it fucking rocks. I got an mp3 of it like five years ago and yeah I thought it was cool but wasn't aware of the full extent until that moment.
Ted comes over with Wayne... we record some downcaste vocals for the demo to give after the show... we're going to start recording the album in two weeks so aside from having something to give out I think it's a good idea to see where we stand with vocals and songwriting, you know drive around with the tunes and "test out the songs" on people and shit.
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Thursday
Coffee and cigarettes may not be all I ever need, but for the next year and a half it will have to do. September 15th 2005 is the date given to me by one of my "prophet dreams" a few weeks ago. It was kinda like a doomsday scenario, but we survived and there was only a few people left. Then a dog talked to me and became my friend. This is significant because I have a slight fear of large dogs. That and sometimes I draw comics and they have this really cute dog I like to draw... I guess he gives me comfort because if all dogs were like him the world would be a better place. Well... what happens on that date? Only time will tell, but here are some ideas:
September 15, 2005
mike britt dies
mike britt leaves
mike britt goes to school
the world ends and only mike britt and a few others are left
everything changes and your biggest fear becomes an asset
nothing happens at all
whatever... but since the dream I keep getting shit that pops up within a month of that made-up date. It's fall, yeah the beginning of the new school year but it's also NEXT year not this year coming up. I don't understand. Perhaps I shouldn't try to.
But I can prepare.
To hold the day...
and I wanted less to take part of this
and say
that it's time to give
to another one
away
what can you say
when an older man
talks all your time away
with age
back in the day
when a younger one
just wants to have fun
she may
but today I might run to you
in someone else's shoes
what can I do?
to be close to you
be with the man you choose
black and blue
till you take away
your only chance at love
i'll wait
only cuz i'm cool like that
paitent for perfect fuck
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Friday
Deliver for Guiseppies
Talk on instant messenger
Go to the Downcaste show
Say hi to John on his birthday
Recap the week so it's available to anyone. Forever.
Thank you for reading. Maybe if I talked to less of you in real life I would post more often. Fuck online journals! (hypocracy? irony? sarcasam? I can't tell!)
This will be my last entry. Go read what these people have to say. And click on everything